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This week at a party, I spoke to someone (I'll call her Vera) who had a ‘heated discussion’ with her supervisor.
A new person had been hired in the secretariat who was quite irritating. Despite being the new one, she knew everything better than all her colleagues. She even nicked Vera's nice tasks. Vera had simply taken those nice tasks back, because it was her job. The new one then went to complain to the supervisor. And to Vera's surprise, she sided with the new one. She said she was not positive and even thought Vera was not collegial. Vera just stood there open-mouthed listening to everything.
Later, when Vera ran into that supervisor in the corridor, she asked if she could speak to her about the situation. But that supervisor was highly annoyed and did not want to be addressed like that.
From a distance, you might say: what is this about? An irritating colleague and a jerk of a boss. You just have to be able to deal with that.
Vera
But for Vera it was different
This whole incident gave her a few sleepless nights
She felt she could no longer be herself
And she had grown to hate her supervisor (and that new colleague)
The supervisor
This situation is described from Vera's point of view. But how would that supervisor have experienced it? I don't think that she was at all aware of Vera's feelings. She would tell me she was just irritated. That was all. She just thinks: there's trouble at the secretariat again. I don't have time for all this.
Vera now goes to work with considerable reluctance, but so does that supervisor!
That lady is having a tough time (I saw her once). She is drowning at work. Chances are she is sitting on her couch at home at weekends unhappy and insecure. Vera feels like she has to look over her shoulder to see if that new one isn't talking to the supervisor again. But that supervisor has also realised that something is not right. From now on, no one will talk to her directly. No, everyone will gossip or complain behind her back.
Every manager has probably experienced it at least once: irritations in the team. You have become a supervisor of a secretariat. You want to show that you are worthy of the position. You set to work full of enthusiasm and then something goes wrong. People start talking negatively about you behind your back. You might get a sneer. In short; there is irritation in the team and you have to solve it. And then you read all over the internet that you should communicate constructively and openly, but how do you do that when you have just received yet another insult?
Not everything on the internet is correct, but 1 thing is: those lines of communication need to be reopened. And as a supervisor, it is up to you to put energy into that. However difficult that may be.
Try answering the following questions for yourself
How do you see yourself as a supervisor? Directive or ‘one of the girls’?
Do your team members know how to interact with you?
Is your role as manager accepted?
What exactly triggers or irritates you?
If you have not been able to answer any of these questions, then it is time for coaching. Perhaps you want to gain insight into your own pitfalls. Or you want to feel more confident and have a sense of control in your job.
Curious about the possibilities of coaching? Then please get in touch with me.