When it gets to be too much

When it gets to be too much

01 January


This week a report was published about inappropriate behaviour and a toxic culture at a Dutch TV station. Due to the behaviour of a presenter, several people have ended up with a burn-out. I can assure you that this behaviour does not only occur at a TV station.

Years ago I worked as an executive secretary at a company where everything was very wrong. I was hired there, but someone else, who already worked there, had also applied for that position. My manager had chosen me and that colleague was not very happy about that.

This colleague started harassing me.
She stole my office chair (really!).
She took files home so I couldn't work on them (really!).
And if I said anything about it, she immediately started to cry.
In addition, it was also extremely busy and if I made a mistake, 3 months later I was still reminded of that.
And my manager; he used the “divide and conquer” strategy.
The tension was unbearable.

I was younger then and I couldn't deal with this at all.
The gossip
The harassment
An absent manager
And the feeling of being alone
I felt constantly attacked

I was always angry. I had trouble sleeping. In the morning in the shower I was having the conversations I had with my boss the day before. Just the thought of going back to work made my heart rate increase. But I was also desperate. I always wanted to be nice to everyone, I found it difficult to set boundaries for myself. And I was frustrated to my core. I wanted this job so badly, why was it so frustrating?

Why am I writing this blog?
First of all, I hope you don't recognize yourself in my situation.
Secondly, if you do recognize yourself, I want to emphasize that you are not the only one. Just look at that Dutch TV station.
I hope you have nice colleagues at work. And that there is a pleasant atmosphere in the team you manage. After all, you work there 8 hours a day. You give a lot of yourself.

You give a lot, but what do you get in return?
Like you probably, I took my job super seriously. The work I did had to be of high quality. That's what my manager expected of me, but I also expected that of myself. I was a perfectionist (a common ailment in the secretariat).

But what did I get in return? I would have been so happy if I had the following in that job.

• A nice working atmosphere, of course.

• The ability to organize my work myself

• The ability to work independently

• A salary that matches my knowledge and skills

• And of course appreciation for my work. From my own team members and my manager.

Do you recognize yourself in the following situations?

• If something goes wrong, you get the blame

• You never get a compliment

• You feel like you are alone

• No one is being nice to you

• And it is always crazy busy

Then there is a chance that you could get a burn-out. Of course, I don't want to talk you into sick leave, but I do want to emphasize: take good care of yourself. No one else is going to do that for you.

There should be a balance
What is important: there must be a good balance between what you 'give' at work and what you 'get in return'. I have described these points above, but perhaps you can add to the list for yourself.

I really hope that you don't work in a toxic environment with inappropriate behaviour.
But when it gets to be too much for you and you want to talk about it with a certified coach, send me a message

Deel je ervaringen en lees die van anderen!