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This is a line from the evergreen “Wouldn’t it be good” performed by Nik Kershaw. He was big in the eighties, for all you young puppies out there. Go check him out on YouTube.
Anyway, this song has been going through my mind, lately. Especially now that we are in these difficult times. Not only at home in our private lives, but also at work.
These kinds of questions have at one time or another been on everyone's mind (especially me)
Why is that colleague always better than I am?
Why did she get that great project and I didn't?
Why does he always say exactly the right things during the meeting and I don't?
Why was my colleague asked for that promotion and not me?
Aarggghhhh. But, dear career tiger, let's dig deeper into these questions.
Why is that colleague always better than I am?
Is that really the case? Always?
And what does that colleague do so well? Maybe he is good in some things and less in others. And ask yourself: is that so bad?
Maybe you can learn from this person. What does this person do differently from you, and could you work the same way as him or her?
What would others see about you if you did that? And what if you can get that person to help you in what he or she is so good at? Then you would have turned a weakness into a strength!
Why did she get that great project and I didn't?
You know, that colleague who is asked to organize the company's 12.5th anniversary. Such an anniversary with a nice big budget, so that she can organize a really great party. But you don't know how she sees it. She may be nervous because everyone will see at the party how well she managed it. And you know as well as I do, that there will always be colleagues who will say that they would have done it differently, better and more efficiently. Maybe she is overworked? You don't always know the whole story.
Why does he always say exactly the right thing during the meeting and I don't?
You have read the minutes of last time. And you knew that there were also actions for you on the action list, but, you had forgotten your notes on which those actions were worked out. Phew it just wasn't your day. So what! This can happen. Instead of focusing on someone who had a good day, you can do something else. Yes you got it: manage yourself a little better and do your homework. Schedule time to prepare. Prepare your notes. Prepare your position on key issues.
Why did my colleague got that promotion and I didn’t?
Yes why? Have you checked this with HRM? And if so? On which points was your colleague better suited than you? Do you have anything to learn? Was your colleague really better or were there other reasons; e.g. his current project was ending and he needed a new position and you did not. This happened to me once. Someone else got a managerial position that I would have liked to have. But after a while I was actually quite happy that I had not got that position. My colleague was proud and flattered that she got that job. The higher salary scale was also nice. But…..
That job turned out not to be that nice at all. Every day she had the nagging of team members who were sick or wanted a day off. Always making those miserable schedules and time tables. That job was actually not so much fun at all. Phew, I was relieved that I didn't have to deal with that stuff every day.
All these examples have 1 common denominator: the grass is always greener on the other side.
But sometimes the grass is greener, because it’s fake. Because you don't know what your colleague has been going through.
Let’s start from today to no longer compare yourself to others.
It is unnecessary, wasted and negative energy. And let's be honest: you're not like that at all!!
Listen, dear career tiger, there will always be others better, faster and smarter than you. It is important not to see that as a threat, but as an opportunity, something to admire. “Gosh, how cool that he / she got that promotion. Maybe I can still learn from that. ”
The focus should not be on the other person, but on you. What can you do to improve yourself?
And do you feel uncomfortable about that? Great! That means you can still learn something and improve yourself. So cherish that feeling. Ha!
Would you like to talk to me about that? Send me an email: info@ontopmanagers.nl