You're not chocolate, so stop pleasing everyone

You're not chocolate, so stop pleasing everyone

01 January


A long time ago I was still employed. I worked with a colleague who liked to boss me around. "Do you want to fax this for me?" "Can you copy these documents for me?" While it was quite normal at that company that you copy and fax everything yourself. It got so bad that it really started to bother me (of course there was a lot more going on with this colleague).

I had carefully said a few times that this was not the way we work here. I have even been vulnerable by saying that I felt treated like a busboy by her. I could tell that she enjoyed it.

One day I sat down right in front of her. I said that I regretted that she attached more value to playing power games than to working together as a colleague.

And do you know what happened? She started screaming and crying and went straight to my supervisor. She was so insulted. I was really surprised. I never expected that reaction

It never worked out between me and that colleague and I don't mind that at all. From that day on she stopped ordering me around. Mission accomplished.

To this day I am proud of myself. Not for the fact that I made someone cry, but that I stood up for myself. It was the 1st time in my life that I chose not to be nice and pleased everyone around me. No regrets!

But dear career tiger, this is not a plea for starting a fight with a colleague you don't like. By expressing what bothers you, and thus implicitly confronting the other, chances are that you will stand alone. Even if many other colleagues agree with you, the moment you discuss something that bothers you with a colleague, they will stand behind you; about 20 meters ...

Also keep in mind that if you choose not to please and confront, the other person might also has something to say about you (!)

So when do you choose to be nice and please everyone at the office? And when are you going to stand up for yourself?
As far as I am concerned, you could draw the line if a value (which you consider important) has been violated. So what I find very important is that everyone works together to do a job. In that respect everyone is equal and everyone has their own task. I think there is no room for dominant and pretentious behavior at the office. Therefor I am easily annoyed when someone orders me around. You might have a value that you find important; integrity? Loyalty? It can be different for everyone

It is also up to you to choose whether to confront or not.
On the positive side: this way you learn how others should treat you.
On the negative side: this can also mean that some people find you a bitch or bastard.

It is therefore important to estimate in advance what you value more: chocolate or a sense of pride.

Deel je ervaringen en lees die van anderen!